…I wasn’t going to have kids in a weird flash of clarity when I was maybe 10 or 11. I honestly don’t know how or why but I was convinced…and I was sad for a bit…but as a grown up now, I have siblings with kids and…they’re great but I definitely enjoy not having kids and I feel like I’ve reasonably considered it…and on several levels too.
I don’t think I’d do well with the all-consuming nature of being a parent. I don’t think I’d do well with the expectations of being a parent from myself, my partner, other people, just the responsibility over another human being. I also don’t think I like the expectation I would develop of other people…and this is a generalization from my limited experience of people that I knew before and after having kids. I understand that being a parent is hard and tiring, but there’s an expectation for others to admit that parenting is harder than anything you’re going through…and maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, depending on the circumstances but aside from that weird feeling that some parents give off of needing to be congratulated all the time, there is a reason some people decide not to become parents. I don’t want or think I would deal well with being a parent and I choose not to give up the things I would have to give up…so…I know it sounds really selfish but why should I be expected to give those things up for someone who decided to become parent…?
Basically, if I want time alone because I want alone time, I feel like it shouldn’t be pointed out that someone else might need it more so I should babysit their kids…