Thinking about things…

I can’t tell if I’ve been lazy about this blog…Ok, maybe that’s not entirely true. I feel like I’ve been lazy with my posts. I’ve set a goal of posting almost every day and I think I’ve mostly stuck to that. However, WHAT I post…I do think about anything I post but the regular things that I write are short and reactive. What I mean isn’t just that they’re easy, which they are, but that they reflect almost exactly what I think or feel at that moment or at any given day. The harder task would be to regularly post about topics that require thoughtful discussion and would need me to re-read and possibly edit what I write and how I’m expressing things…

I want to be more thoughtful. I want to improve my writing. I want to improve my thinking, my critical thinking, especially about topics that I don’t know much about. Those weren’t the primary goals of me starting a blog but those are things that I think about a lot because I am someone who is more articulate on paper than in conversation. I am someone who is very tentative about speaking…

One of the actual purposes of this blog for me is to archive things I think are cool (like the Dr. Who videos, the TED talks, science-y and space-y stuff…have I actually put up any space stuff? Space is cool.) and I’ve not done that in a while. I’m not sure why…

Some of what this blog consists of seems to be how suck-y I think everything is…a lot of the time…and I don’t like that. I feel like it becomes some sort of spiral. I definitely think a person should be honest about what they’re feeling and thinking. No repression, generally. It’s just when I dwell and obsess…and in doing so, forget the good things and blessings in my life…because there are so many. They don’t and shouldn’t be expected to lessen the effects of…fine, my depression. Honestly, I’m depressed. I can recognize that I have SO many good things in my life and at the same time, I shouldn’t feel so guilty when I’m in a really bad place mentally. It makes it harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I’m dealing with the guilt on top of the depression…

Anyways, hopefully, I can implement some changes here. Not immediately and not wholesale. Slow and steady, right? This is obviously mostly a promise to myself said into the void of the internet.

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